It's been one of those weeks where I couldn't do anything right. Everything from ineffectively settling sibling disputes, from awkward defensive reactions in response to criticism at a meeting, lack of patience, to ramming the right front tire of the van into a curb(I was trying to turn around at night in a very narrow driveway), and dealing with the lack of a passenger side mirror because I misjudged my van's girth when exiting the garage and smashed the mirror into smithereens against the opening, lack of patience, and forgetting my brother's birthday. Someone said, "In true humility, one is neither affected by praise nor criticism." The simple fact that I allow myself to wallow in self pity, is itself a sign that I am just NOT GETTING IT. No matter where I turn this week, humility seems to be waiting for me, I can't escape it! I left our diaper bag at the Y awhile back, and I called to see if they could find it and hold it for me. The young man went to look for our bag and returned to the phone and asked, "I found one, is it the one full of trash and wrappers?"...I responded, "Oh yes that's it." I was ever so proud to go in and retrieve it. That's my life, one opportunity after another. As a friend and I joked," Parenting is really just a lesson in humility." I keep telling Don that I must have a major deficiency considering the plethera of opportunities I get! The Catholic definition of the virtue humility is, "A quality by which a person considering his own defects has a lowly opinion of himself and willingly submits himself to God and to others for God's sake." Honestly, I do realize the goal and I'm trying to appreciate the opportunities, but I just wish I didn't need them so much. A verse from a song keeps bouncing around my brain, "Bend me and break me anyway that You will, mold me and shape me, be with me still."
Oh Debi, I really admire your honesty and yes, your humility, in writing this. I sometimes feel like I have a spiritual sister the other side of the pond because we seem to share the same struggles and you always say what I am thinking, feeling and struggling with too!
ReplyDeleteFaith is a work in progress, a process of learning and believing and struggling and like you say, patience!!! I am forever struggling but always believing :) God bless you for this post Debi. You are a great mother and wife and friend. Even if your changing bag is full of wrappers (mine is too lol!)
OH humility. What a great post Debi. This is something we all need to think about. I agree whole-heartedly with Eloise, it is a work in progress. Every. Day.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love the picture of the washing of the feet, PERFECT!
Thanks for your sweet comments. That means a lot coming from you!!
Blessings!
the sweet comments to which I was referring were the ones on my whiney post today by the way. ;-D
ReplyDeleteOh my, I could tell you about my weekend, but then you might lose all respect for me:)
ReplyDeleteI think I remember a priest telling me, whatever happens just keep going forward.
No matter what happens in the world, children still need to be fed, diapers changed, ect. Have you quit yet? By what you said, you keep trying. The devil would love for us to give up!
Here is something someone passed to me once...and I love it. Because, life is a battle.
"Once your feet hit the floor in the morning, let Satan's first words be, "oh shoot, she is awake."
Now, put on some horse blinders and only look up :)
God bless you always.
J