After our youngest, Charlie, was born 3 1/2 years ago, both my cardiologist and my obgyn told us that to conceive again would bring significant risk to my life. So, we put our trust in God and consulted our wonderful NFP teacher and began using NFP to avoid pregnancy, yet of course being open to life and God's plan.
A few weeks ago, I was late with my cycle , feeling sick and not too surprised to see that little cross that means we will have a new little one. I cried as I thanked God for this gift and told Him I needed Him to hold my hand the entire time! I hadn't planned on telling anyone until we were past the "danger zone" of miscarriage, but I have been so sick that I had to tell the kids what was going on. They were so excited and filled with joy. I don't think there is ever any comparison to the absolute elation the news of a new baby brings to a family.....not even DISNEY WORLD! And.... they couldn't keep the good news to themselves;)
A friend of mine responded when she heard the news, "Are you scared?" I told her I was, of course because I am human and weak. But I know that God is bigger than any fear or anxiety we have.
Don and I both have to trust that we are living in the center of God's will and that He makes all things new. It's not always easy to be open to life, but it is always right. To be completely honest, I don't have peace of mind or body and I often wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, but I do have peace in my heart knowing that we are trying(albeit very flawed and sloppy) to live our faith and to always do His will.
During the homily at Mass this morning, Father reminded us that the pain and suffering of this life is nothing compared to the glory of God....it was so comforting to hear those words.
Hannah is hoping the baby's a girl...again...we'll see!