Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Mom and Dad Rohr

So many times we get wrapped up in the feelings and sensations of love, but true love isn't what we feel, it's what we do. I want to share a love story that is 52 years in the making. My Father in law has been lovingly caring for my Mother in law since a series of mini-strokes has left her with a poor memory and physical impairments. It seems day by day, his beautiful bride is slipping away. Many family members and friends have offered their "well intending" advice. Some say..."she needs to be in a nursing home", or "hire round the clock nursing care", or "Maybe you should just call hospice." Many families are going through this all over the world, and I know that someday we will also experience this. As we try to offer our time to Dad from bringing over meals to inviting them to move in with us, he makes one thing crystal clear. "She took care of me all these years, it's my turn to take care of her. Thank you, kids, but I'm not ready for that..yet" The last time we visited, he was particularly jolly, later that night, they were invited to a card party with their friends. This lively and social group has been part of their lives for over 30 years, and every month the card party rotates to each of their homes. Dad and I went shopping to buy Mom a new coat, he discovered a lovely red coat, and we remarked how pretty Mom always looks in red. As we were checking out, Dad spied a festive sweater vest with a snowman, he thought would be perfect for the card party. When we returned, Mom was delighted by the beautiful coat and cute vest. It couldn't have been a sweeter or happier couple that we left that day. Don called later in the week to visit. With a heavy heart, Dad told him that the long awaited card party they had prepared for wasn't much fun. "Why not, Dad?" Well, they won't let Mom play anymore because of her memory." He was deeply hurt by this. Although tempted to leave, Dad planted himself next to Mom and helped her play his hand. After Don hung up, we both cried. We love them so much. It's so hard to see that Dad feels so isolated. We are increasing our visits, and the kids are arranging a suprise card party...hope they won't mind playing Uno and Go Fish. With every action, Dad shows his steadfast love for Mom, and I am indeed edified by his example. As a rare,but privaledged spectator to this virtuous relationship, I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:4. "“Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one.Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense.There is nothing love cannot face;there is no limit to its faith,its hope, and endurance. In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love;but the greatest of these is love.”
Written about 2 months ago


  1. Your father-in-law is a true witness to what God intended love to be. Thank you for this little glimpse into the workings of what is obviously a beautiful and loving marriage.

  2. This brought tears to my eyes. Oh that we all might live this love in our marriages.

    And thanks for the comment on my blog. Kolbe is the perfect addition to our growing family and we are all so very happy.

  3. oh, my goodness, that was beautiful. Truly inspiring.